Self help

 

If you have followed my blog previously you will already know that I always like to take the positive of every situation, I don’t dwell on the negatives because it becomes unhealthy…

It’s no secret that I am a ‘woman of a certain age’ and have lately been struggling dreadfully with the effects of perimenopause.  

I have previously visited the doctor who has prescribed tablets and HRT.  It’s not had me feeling much better and our surgery is going through so many changes, even getting an appointment to start to discuss issues is a nightmare (I’m not singling out surgery at all I’m more than aware this is a national problem!) so anyway, I swallowed my pride and rang a good friend of mine Tracey who has for a while now offered her help and advice.

Tracey is a Consultant nurse practitioner with a special interest and has trained in menopause management.

Tracey went through my medical history and symptoms and we discussed all aspects of my lifestyle, diet, health and wellbeing. I have to say by the time I walked out of her surgery, I not only had learned a great deal about the the menopause but also my body and how my hormones were affecting me but above all, I came out a lot lighter in heart and mind, knowing that how I feel is ‘normal’ and that I can get, and more importantly can accept help!

Give Traceys website a look (www.https://www.eastridingaesthetics.co.uk/wellness) , she doesn’t just deal in positive reflections for ladies of a certain age she is also highly trained in her field and teaches nationwide.  

I’m not sure if she reads my blog, but if she does…. THANK YOU! I feel so much better already because of your kindness and care 😘 

I’ve finished my week feeling positive.

Much love

Ellie

xxx

What an amazing week :)

Wow what an incredible start to the new year I’m having.

I just love a new year.  I love the fact that it’s a new chapter that we turn over. For me personally, it’s a relatively quiet time cake wise so a chance to sort, have a deep clean of the house and start the year with a clean house, a healthier mind aswell as working on a healthier body.

Our inbox has been full of enquiries and messages to follow up and this being our first full week back at work has had me catching up and clearing my outstanding to do list.  My heart grew fuller and my smile grew wider when not one but 2 awards dropped into my inbox!

Cake making started as a hobby for me back in 2012 with a little idea that it would hopefully become a viable business.  When Elliegantly Made was formed in 2015 I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be the business it is today.  

It has gone from strength to strength and every day I get a kick out of going to work (even though my office is just downstairs 😂)

Creating cakes for me really is a dream come true.

We received the S.M.E award for best Bespoke Cake Maker in East Yorkshire ( https://www.sme-news.co.uk/winners-list ) and we also received a certificate of excellence from Three Best Rated ( https://three best rated.co.uk/cakes-in-Kingston-upon-hull )

Needless to say we have been celebrating the accolade and grateful to all our friends and clients who have helped make us the business we are today.

The week was finished with a beautiful afternoon tea on Friday catching up with my cousin Cazzie and a busy Saturday with an Elliegantly Made open day.  On EMHQ open days, we invite our wedding clients to book an appointment and have a look at our facilities and sample cake which is always a pleasure and who doesn’t like eating cake?! We never fail to meet beautiful couples and hear their love story who entrust us to create their dream wedding cake.

With Saturdays clients seen, we decided to have a quick change and go out for dinner before seeing our friends perform their first gig of 2023.  I love last minute decision to go out and they are often the best night.  We had a beautiful meal and enjoyed catching up with friends both old an new in Hessle.

Sunday was another special day spent pitch side watching our neighbour Reece play his testimonial match against Halifax Panthers which was an incredible day albeit freezing (I think my feet thawed around 10pm! Lol). Trinity won 28-16 and Reece got man of the match.

Until next time.

Much love

Ellie

xxx

Here's to the New Year

New Year’s Eve was shared with our dear friends Chris & Dave, Benji and his partner and was full of love, laughter, drinks and a beautiful 3 course meal cooked by myself and Ray - with me organising the starters and desserts and Ray dealing with main.

Crispy bacon and feta salad with vinaigrette dressing and walnuts to start. Stuffed port tenderloin with actifry new potatoes and buttered peas, asparagus and leeks for main and fresh strawberries and cream with ice-cream and cinnamon palmiers for dessert. 

We let in 2023 with champagne and hugs, raising our glasses to those no longer with us. I always feel that New Years Eve can be sad for what has gone and what has happened because you always reflect on what has gone but it’s also about new beginnings, it’s the new page of a fresh chapter and you are writing the story.

I’ve never made New Year’s resolutions because I don’t want to set myself up to fail so instead I’ve determined some goals for 2023. 

The first is that I will lose weight and be healthier.

Those that know me will be more than aware that I always like to see the positives in life and the first positive is that although I have gained weight again since my sponsored slim I am in fact starting this year 5.8lb lighter than I started 2022!

Every win no matter how small is a win right? and that will always put a smile on my face, I’ll take that 5.8 and make it a much bigger number by 2024!

Like the majority of the nation I have set out on the first week with determination and strength. Healthy eating, logging food and getting out for walks has been paramount this week as well as sorting, clearing and cleaning cupboards and rooms. 

We started the week with my brother and his family over for a late Sunday lunch (it was late because it happened on Monday!! 😂) and then on Tuesday we went over to our best friends for dinner.  We’ve not really seen anyone socially before or over Christmas due to work commitments and then being away, it was so nice to sit and relax catching up with them all.

We also received a wood delivery this week and I have to say shifting that from the front of the house to the wood store was a workout in itself .

So… to finish my first week,

I have finished the week with lots of smiles, feeling very virtuous. 

Have a great week

Much love

Ellie xxx

The future holds new beginnings…

I’m stunned to see that the last blog I posted was back in 2019, how crazy is that? As you can imagine, this post will be a long one!!

I have just returned home from a fabulous Christmas break in Scotland and have determined that my life WILL change in 2023. 

The first thing I decided was to pick my blog back up. It helped me both mentally and physically before, so it has to be a good thing, right?  It seemed my hopes, fears, dreams, and ramblings kept a lot of people amused, but most of all it helped me put my world back into place by verbalising my feelings (even if it was by typing them).  I’m not sure yet if I’m going to publicise that this is back up and running, so if you are following already you are one of the few lucky ones.  

I, like many others, have had so much going on in life, so this blog will be a very brief catch up on the last 3 years. 

2019 was the year I ran the London Marathon for the 2nd time, and loved every single second of it. I rode the high for the rest of the year! I knew I’d never do it again, so I made sure I lapped it up. No-one can ever take away the fact that I’m a marathon runner, I’m in a small minority of the population and I love it!

It was also the year I turned 50, had a fabulous holiday with my nearest and dearest, and enjoyed the highs (and a few lows) of reaching middle age. 

At the back end of 2019, after tests, Ray was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF), which was confirmed at his specialist appointment early in 2020.  IPF, if you didn’t already know, is an incurable lung disease and Ray has always been such an active man, so as you can imagine it floored us. But he/we determined it wouldn’t rule our lives, and we were to carry on as normal as we could only tweak life when we needed too. And, so far, that’s working! He’s currently on his 2nd drugs trial, and also taking one of the two type of drugs available that suppress the progression of the disease.

All this was happening at the same time as the pandemic hit, and the whole world seemed to fall apart. At least, mine definitely did...

My wonderful Mum died on the 10th of September 2020, the day before her 76th birthday (what is it with my family — my Grandma Redhead chose New Year’s Eve, Dad chose Benji’s 3rd birthday to depart this earth and then Mum decided for the first time ever she would be early for her birthday!). I like to think she went to find Dad to celebrate, though, because she missed him terribly, and that, wherever she is, she’s finally happy.

The latter part of 2020 was spent in a blur of grief and sorting our childhood family home for sale. 

Mum kept so many things (just incase it’d come in handy!) that it took 9 skips, a minimum of 30 car loads to the charity shops, and 4 van loads to a local craft charity; not to mention the personal belongings we gifted to family and friends to have the house finally ready for the market.  

It was no secret that I was cross with Mum for the way she lived in her later years. She didn’t take care of herself, and I feared for her health and wellbeing. I told her as much on many occasions and I’m sure she resented me for it (probably because she knew I was being truthful, and as the saying goes: “the truth always hurts”). But I loved her dearly and I miss her so much my heart aches.  After losing dad, I always used to say that you don’t know loss until you’ve lost a parent, but having lost both of them now it’s truly heartbreaking, and I wouldn’t wish the pain I often feel on anybody.  

Our family home was sold in 2021 with my brother and I having a glass of champagne (at 10am) to celebrate the wonderful years we had in the house in Hessle, and I truly wish the new owners forever happiness there.  We have some magical memories and the house needed to be loved again.  I pass it often and smile at the past we had, and am filled with joy with what it’s becoming now with it’s new owners.

Elliegantly Made has been going from strength to strength and, because of the legacy my brother and I were left, I was able to spend the rest of 2021 renovating Ray & I’s own house, and some of the money enabled me to custom build a Elliegantly Made kitchen for the business!

One of the best things to come out of Mum’s death was the fact that my brother and I are now closer than we ever were. John and I always seemed to play good cop bad cop with Mum and she always saw him as the good cop, which didn’t help our relationship in the slightest.

Her health taking a rapid decline in 2020 and having to work together, with John doing the physical stuff (because Ray and I were isolating because of his IPF) and me doing the administrative stuff, brought John and I closer than I could ever imagine.  

It’s such a shame that it took Mum’s death for it to happen, as we have missed out on many years of our adult lives, but we have now got such an incredible bond that really does warm my heart despite the heartache it took to get there.  

Watch out for some of the plans we have in store, because I’m sure you’ll see more of his name pop up on future blogs!

Soo, we have one more year to mention… 2022.

After a turbulent couple of years with Covid effecting schooling, dealing with bullying, and low self esteem, Benji took his GCSEs, and smashed it out of the ball park! He got incredible results - 3 x 8’s (A*), 3 x 7’s(A), and 3 x 6’s (B)! He is now enrolled at a local college and loving life.

Charlotte would’ve been 18 this year, and we celebrated with tears and champagne with our nearest and dearest, having a BBQ and honouring what our little lady taught us and celebrating what would’ve been a very special day.

The hardest part of 2022 had to be Mum’s final farewell in Ireland.  Her family were understandably not able to come over for her funeral due to covid restrictions, and then further restrictions in 2021 changed plans again, so we headed over for the August bank holiday weekend and had a mass and celebration of life for her in Clones. She had family and friends come from all corners of Éire with a full chapel and butterflies in the church. It was an emotional weekend, but one filled with love and memories of a wonderful mum, grandma, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend. 

We have just returned from a wonderful and relaxing Christmas spent up in Scotland with very special friends. A first for us that there were no ovens on for orders going out.  We’ve laughed, cried, eaten and drank making even more memories to add to the copious amount of ones already stored.  

So here I am sat on New Year’s Eve writing my first blog in a long long time.  The plan is to write my musings more frequently so until next year here are my final thoughts for 2022:

2023 is going to be the year that I take care of me!  I have spent the last 2 years with my mental health at it’s lowest, taking antidepressants and having zero love for myself. It is time to change that mindset, to stop worrying how other people treat me and think of me and my life, to stop and concentrate on me.  

This year, just know that if you need me you know where to find me because I won’t be chasing… but, to be fair, I didn’t chase much in 2022 anyway because of how I was feeling, so I held off texting and messaging to see if I got a message first… it was amazing how quiet my phone was!!

Tonight we have some dear dear friends, Chris and Dave, coming for a New Year’s Eve dinner (another first for us as we have never done a sit down dinner on NYE before).  Chris and I have been friends from childhood, ‘my brother from another mother’ and one of my longest, closest and dearest of friends.  It must be 20yrs ago the last time we spent NYE together. To say I’m excited for tonight and what the new year holds is an understatement.

Whether you are part of my life personally or not we are all under the same sky breathing the same air.  So with that said, whatever you plan on doing this evening, I wish you noting but love and happiness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Much love,

Ellie 

xxx

London has become very real... AGAIN!!

I’ve no idea where my ‘new’ blog has gone but I’ve now managed to finally get into my old blog. I have a few notes from the beginning of one I posted last year so this will be a mixture from that and now...

It’s been a while and I may be rusty at this blogging melarky but allow me to explain where I've been...

Raising so much money for Abbie's Fund was incredible and I was humbled at the amount of people that supported me to raise funds whilst doing my 15 in 15 challenges. Katy (the founder of Abbie's Fund) has become a lifelong friend because of her beautiful little girl and I will forever support her (and her husband Paul) with the wonderful work she does for so many families.  

I raised £2,600 over the course of 2015 which enabled Abbie's fund to collate some 104 memory boxes to help devastated families with their grief after losing something more precious than anyone can imagine. There isn't a day goes by I don't think of our own precious little girl and how different life would have been if she was still with us. Charlotte would be in her teenage years now.  I have to buy flowers instead of frocks and I have to clean my own makeup from my face as the tears fall rather than be out buying some for her. What I wouldn’t give to be able to take her to a girlie concert! 

They say there is no grief greater than having to bury your own child and they are right. My heart aches for life to be so different but no matter how hard I cry it won't bring her back..... I can however help other people's grief. Although Abbie's fund wasn't formed when I lost my baby, Katy has no idea how much Abbie's fund has helped my own grief. 

15 in 15 happened at a tough time in my life, it’s 5 yrs ago and life had moved on but let's just say that the challenge allowed me to release a lot of tension... pounding the streets seems to allow you to do that!! Along with my trainers and my amazing friends and family, I got through the year... just. 

It wasn't without pain, heartache or emotion but I got through and I came out the other side stronger... and possibly, no definitely a bit harder.

My body didn't come out quite so well.  I worked it above and beyond what it was used too and pushed it further than it was capable of and I paid the price. I got more than the marathon low runners speak of, I got that and a lot more to boot...injury. Thinking I was invincible I carried on running injured and 'surprise surprise', the injury didn't get better, it just got worse. 

But, it wasn't just running I lost, I lost focus, I lost friends, I lost my passion, I lost self belief.. I lost me!! 

The only things I did gain were self loathing, inadequacy... and weight. 

My rock of a husband Ray has kept my head up for me, often holding it in place when all I have wanted to do is let it fall to the floor.  He warms my heart with his love and respect of me... even when I don't love and respect myself. Sometimes it's as though he can read my mind and we have the same heartbeat... I only need to be out and feeling anxious or thinking of him and a text comes through to make sure I'm ok and to tell me he loves me. I seriously do bless the day he walked into my life but he (and everyone else) knows that because I make no secret of letting him and people know how much I love him back. 

Our beautiful son Benji keeps my heart strong, I am so immensely proud of him. Of his attitude towards people and life in general and everything he is achieving in his new high school. I know I say it all the time but who'd have ever thought our tiny 10 week premmie would grow to be such a beautiful, well mannered, loving, caring little man!  But then should I have ever doubted it with such an amazing father as a role model? No not really. 

Everyone has 'core' friendships. You know, the ones that, like any relationship give 50/50. You ring each other at any time of the night or day and everything will be dropped.  If we're unable, or busy there will be phone calls or texts to 'check in'. We can laugh, cry, rant, scream and put the world to rights knowing we will not be judged,  advice and help is given and the world will be put back into place.  I'd be in a much worse place without them all around of that I'm sure and like Ray and Benji I truly don't know where I'd be without them. 

I've always been a great believer of positive breeds positive and I'd got myself in a negative rut that I haven't seemed to get out of. 

I had been lucky enough to gain a ballot place for the VLM London marathon 2018. My magazine landing on the doorstep in October ‘17 proved that the system is completely random, having also won my VLM ballot place back in 2014... you have to be in it to win it as the saying goes. 

Still carrying my Achilles/calf injury and the fact that 2019 would be my 50th year it was decided that I would defer my place and run VLM in April 2019. 

With a house move in 2016 and having lost most of my fitness, running nothing more than 1-2 miles probably a month I hit an all time low. I was trying so desperately hard to even ‘exist’ and with next to no self worth I had to sit and evaluate my life and fast. With this in mind and trying to build my ever growing cake business Elliegantly Made, in July of 2018 I handed in my notice of co-ordinating East Hull Fitmums.  

It was a huge step for me to leave having gained the post from Nikki and holding it for 3 years. I was under no illusion that it would have an impact on my life but I had no idea just how much. I had time for me, to gain myself again and ‘sort my sh*t’ out! I got a training plan from Neil (one of our Fitmums coaches) and started back out at a mile. 

My circle seemed to change significantly when I stepped down from EHFM. People who I’d opened my heart, home and life too seemed to leave me which didn’t seem to help the downward spiral I have gotten myself into. There’s a saying that goes around... if someone is quiet, cancels going for coffee or going out ask if they’re ok.... I wasn’t... what a shame some of those I cared for didn’t ask but I also appreciate there aren’t just my problems out there. I wrongly assumed that such a huge change in my circumstance may have made people question me?

Luckily for me, I have had some amazing support and I seriously hope I don’t miss anyone out now apologies if I do!)

Donna, without you on my long runs I’d not be running London this weekend I’d be walking it, thank you... Hull is calling our name, let’s do it? 😉😘 

Most Saturday or Sunday mornings Donna and I have been up at the crack of dawn for a long run but have always had a Raymondo’s special bacon banjo at the end.

Elaine, thank you for putting in the miles with me, listening to me waffle and being there for me. Never forget how special you are!

To the regular Tasty girls Donna, Elaine, Carol and Sue (not forgetting Trev of course) and to other ladies that sometimes joined me/us, Vicki, Helen B, Michelle, Lynne, Emma and anyone I’ve forgotten thank you. 

To Katie B, Amanda and Tammy who have just got back into running themselves, thank you for putting in some of the last miles with me you all  warm my heart. 

To Alan, my physio. Thank you for ‘sorting me out’ 😂 seriously though, you’ve not just helped sort my calves and achilles out we have put the world to rights. 

To my amazing husband and gorgeous boy who have sometimes pushed me out of the door when I’ve least wanted too thank you and to my nearest and dearest friends, you know who you are and some of you have already been mentioned from the bottom of my heart thank you xxx

I also have to give a huge shout out to my Dr. Jane Stevenson. 

I went to see her at the beginning of this year and she was astounded how I was even functioning the way I was feeling never mind putting on my trainers to run and/or exercise 3-5 times a week.  

I have to say categorically that it is with her help and care and the help and care of my amazing family and the beautiful friends I have in my life - I really wouldn’t be where I am now... on the train London bound and about to embark on the run of my life. 

Of all the weekends to run in London, Benji is driving for Holderness Academy’s Afterburners club in the electric car race around Hull on Sunday. Thank you to Katy, Si, Jeanie, Mel, Tammy and Ian for being his support crew and making it so special for him. I know he will do his best and we have already made a pact between us to be thinking of each other to spur each other on.  

Of course this weekend won’t without its heartache.... I will obviously be thinking of our beautiful daughter Charlotte, my dad, Els, Bill, Trevor, Ken and all those we have lost. BUT, I know beyond a shadow of doubt they will be on my shoulder but not weighing me down they will be lifting me up and helping me cross that finish line!!

Good luck to everyone this weekend, give it your best, follow them dreams, get that bling!!

Much love 

Ellie 

xxx

. 

its on its way...

New blog post coming soon... watch this space 😉

It's been emotional.....

It's been emotional.....

My legs are back to normal but my body and mind have given up, I'm on that marathon low - feeling down and blue so I thought I'd write about my experience. 


The support and good luck messages started the week before we set off for London - meeting with friends, cards arriving and my phone pinging every other minute. I felt as though I was emigrating and never going to see see people again. It was a lovely feeling that so many people cared. 


With my bags packed and ready we took Benji to school before heading to Paragon Station on Friday morning and he shouted 'Good luck mummy, you can do it!' from his queue to get into class, It brought a lump to my throat. I bless the day that I started the life changing journey that enabled me to get healthy so I was able to play and be active with him in his life as well as be his mummy. I enjoy every moment with him. Benji is of an age now that he is able to and enjoys running some distances with me and will often come and do a 2-3 mile run. He really is my world and he had such faith in me bless his heart. 

With our goodbyes said, a relaxing journey to London followed catching up on messages,emails and post. 

We arrived at the the Royal Garden Hotel Kensington which was absolutely stunning and unpacked before we headed back out and over to ExCel to collect my ever important marathon number. When I got my number it would mean it was official - I really was running VLM. I think it was only at that moment of holding my number 7207 in my hand it seamed real. What had I done? Had I trained hard enough? Would my legs see me through? Would my lungs see me through? I knew my heart would but..... oh boy!

After collecting my number we entered the Adidas boost tunnel which led to the start of what was an enormous exhibition. It was colossal. Company after company trying to sell their wares - sunglasses, gels, trainers, hats, running attire, treadmills, beetroot juice. If you named it and it had to do with running fitness it was there.
Then there were the charity stands. I caught my breath as we walked past the BHF stand, hearts upon hearts with loved ones names on dedicating their race, time and effort to people they held dear. 

A lazy day on Saturday ensued, with me fussing around getting my kit together and taking my now traditional pre race kit photo.  Pre race day for most runners is a pasta night and I was no different. We found a lovely Spaghetti House directly opposite the hotel and early to bed for what was going to be the biggest race day of my life. 

A 6am start on Sunday for shower, brekkie and everything else that needed to be done before planning to leave the hotel at 7:30. Oh boy my stomach was doing somersaults already - it was going to be a looooong day. 

You get free transport in London if you possess one of the all treasured race numbers. Ray travelled with me to Victoria Station where we said our goodbyes as I transferred from underground to overground for the journey over to Blackheath and he headed back to the hotel. It was a tough goodbye that left me empty and lonely - a feeling I'm not really used too but emotions were playing their hand as they always did on the lead up too and including race day. Boarding the train at Victoria brought tears to my eyes and not just from those emotions. The smell of deep heat and others lotions on the train would bring tears to anybodies eyes  - it was so strong!  We all sat in silent respect for the journey we were taking. It was quite eerie. 

With drizzly rain, Blackheath was just a sea of people trying to keep warm and dry under any shelter they could. The start area was cordoned off and I remember the first song I heard blaring out of all the speakers was Gnarls Barkley's, 'I think your crazy'. Oh how apt!!!  I found a chair under a repertory coffee shop marquee and killed a bit of time before queueing at the toilets for the always needed 'pressure wee!' By this time luckily the rain had stopped and it looked as though it was going to be ideal running weather. Cool, not too hot and cloudy. 

The big screens around the start area showed us the wheelchair athletes and the women's elite starting and  before we knew it it was our turn. We were on our way, everyone wishing each other a good run to the bleeps of GP running watches and we were off!!  I knew it wouldn't be my fastest run but run it was going to be. I planned starting on 11:30 minute miles as I would surely drop in my 2nd half. 

It wasn't really long before that overwhelming feeling of loneliness kicked in! You spend months training, most of it was with friends either running the whole or part distance with you with friends or family often on a bike being waterboy or girl and here I was all of a sudden thrown into a scenario of running 5+ hours - on my own - with 34,000 other people!! Why did I feel lonely!? 

I couldn't  snap out of the mind-set I'd gotten into no matter how I tried. The blue line of the marathon route that is painted on the road became my friend. I looked for it on the road and followed it, sometimes disappearing to all of a sudden appear again. That blue line suddenly had become my training buddy, my Fitmums family, my water boy and my support crew!

Mentally I started going downhill at about mile 9. It couldn't have been 'the wall' because I'd fuelled up properly - it was my emotions and my mind had got a grip and just wouldn't let go.  My foot felt as though it had a blister the length of it and I had cramp in my 2nd toe - why? My trainers were comfy, my socks were right, I think I must've stood on a stone at some point or caught it somehow because when I'd finished there wasn't a blister in sight. I remember about mile 11 seeing a lady running over to her screaming family giving them all hugs and feeling insanely jealous that it wasn't me greeting my family. "Ellie get a grip!" was all I kept saying to myself. How many times had I been out for long runs?! 

Ray rang and tried to talk to me bless him but I was in a bad bad place, He explained where he was standing so I'd see him at mile 14, hopefully by which point I'd have sorted my head out! - I hadn't!  I literally fell into his arms sobbing.  Everything hurt, my head, my heart, my feet, my legs and my ego.  I stopped for a couple of minutes and had a pep talk with him, I took some painkillers and he sent me on my way with ever ounce of encouragement, love and strength he had and boy did I need it. 

I had phone call after phone call from my friends and my gorgeous family ringing and encouraging me, they knew I was battling and they were trying so desperately to help me out of the place I was in. 

The next 4 or 5 miles were steady away. My pace had slowed considerably but I was still running -  just.  But my heart was breaking - every time I thought of someone something random would happen: 

Every time I thought of Ellie and Rory I would run past an MNDA cheering point or someone would run past me with an MNDA running top on. 

Frankie crept into my mind and I instantly saw Juvenile Diabetes, not Diabetes UK it was specific!

My good friend and running buddy Bev rang me a couple of times bless her and she works for McMillan, why was there a sea of green McMillan t-shirts just before she rang?

Then Poppy came to mind and in a sea of people - and I'm talking crowds of people 10 deep on the roadside, on a cool, now completely dry day there was a lady stood with a huge umbrella up. An umbrella covered in poppies!!

At the beginning of the race whilst I was sat under the gazebo, I'd set my iPod up to play my running album and at one point I needed a bit of entertainment so pressed my headphones to start playing. Why, oh why, oh why had it completely bypassed my running album and jumped to a random album on my iPod and was actually playing one of my dads all time favorite songs - "I'm Just a Country Boy" by Don Williams?!?! 

It was the last straw. At this point I was sobbing almost uncontrollably. I was wasting much needed energy on my emotions but then it struck me that someone, somewhere was telling me that everyone was there for me - it had taken nearly 10 miles but it was the turning point I needed. 
I thanked Dad.....and Charlotte.....and Abbie, Gramps, Ken and everyone else up there for being with me, I wasn't alone at all. I had a sea of people around me and more importantly above me pushing me to the end. Between them and my phone calls I'd been taken out of my 10 mile hell. 

I saw Ray again at 21 miles but this time with a smile on my face and a determination that would knock anyone over. My frame of mind was back. This race needed finishing and I needed it in the bag. I was ready to give the last five miles my all. I gave him a quick kiss and the biggest hug I could muster and off I went. 

The last phone call I got was from my mum at 25 miles.  I cried when she rang, I was hurting so much but she took all the pain away just by telling me how proud she was of me. 

The London marathon is something to behold and some of the other memories I will take with me are..... 

I have to say without doubt the crowds stood out to me as the biggest memory. All through London they were phenomenal, sometimes you just needed your own space and at those points it was a little over bearing but they were awesome nonetheless and certainly got me through the miles. 

but some other memories that are etched in my mind..... 

The organisation and the marshals were outstanding. 
Playing cat and mouse with Rory the Rhino. 
The Shard. 
The Cutty Sark. 
The ostrich that I overtook because he was having his photo taken with some friends in the crowd - only to overtake me again to show he actually had much nicer legs than me!.  
The wheelchair athlete struggling to get up the hill. 
The man sat by the roadside sorting out his blisters. 
The Isle of dogs. 
The 70+ year old lady running looking at the floor constantly because of her deformed spine. 
The lady at 26 miles having to stop and stretch to see her finish the last .2 miles over the line. 
Canary Wharf. 
Being overtaken by a giant pair of testicles!! (I kid you not, but Mr Testicles didn't get in front of me for long!!) 
Big Ben. 
The finish line on the Mall with the crowds screaming your name, clapping and cheering you right over the finish line. 

I wanted sub 6, I expected 5:45, I would've liked 5:30 or under - I finished the London Marathon in 5:45:41.  It was without doubt the hardest race I've ever run but also the most unbelievable experience I have ever encountered.  I've always said my body wasn't built for speed - it was built for comfort but ......it's a body that I work hard and one that no matter what I put it through it sees me to the finish.

Would I do it again? Hell yeh - I'm in the ballot and I now have a time to try and beat if I'm lucky enough to get through the ballot again that is. 

All I can say to my running friends is - if I can do it anyone can... and I couldn't have done it without their help and support or the help and support my gorgeous family and all my wonderful friends. 



I arrived home to more cards and gifts and a huge banner made by my beautiful little man (with the help from his Auntie Jeanie!) and I realised all over again just how blessed I am to have such precious people in my life. 



What's next for me?! I've one more race to do (Beverley 10k) before I set off to remarry my amazing, supportive and loving husband all over again for our tenth wedding anniversary. On a cruise with some of our closest friends and family. Much needed "us" time and to say I'm excited is an understatement.

Until next time. 

Much love

Ellie
xxx