Finality comes in many forms

This week my Dad hit the paper in his own rite. His inquest was on Monday and the local paper published the findings the following day. Luckily a friend of mine text me to let me know it was going to be in - I really have got some lovely friends who really care about my feelings xxx

Following Dad's death, a report had to be sent to the coroners office to decide whether an inquest would be held. I would like to say at this point that as a family we have absolutely no question that the hospital did everything the possibly could for him. Their care, support, work was never in question for us. Its just that Dad's surgery was elective and he'd gone down for a second operation - there was always a 50/50 chance the coroner would say an inquest had to be held. Mum was supposed to be there to give a statement but a letter was sent to the judge and she was excused from the proceedings.

The findings were everything we expected them to be. The inquest heard that he'd had heart problems dating back to 1993, he had developed an aortic aneurysm for which he'd consented to have surgery even with the risks it carried. He was obese and had been a smoker most of his life, although had stopped some 3 years previously on the advice of his doctor. Dad was initially in surgery for seven and a half hours but when he was recovering in the intensive care unit he developed high blood pressure and started hemorrhaging. Doctor Brian Johnson and his team tried to stop the bleeding in a second operation. . . . .The inquest found that he died due to complications after surgery.

In all seems so cold and final when you see it written down, as we did in the paper but final it is and now after 5 long months we can have his final death certificate and Dad can now rest in peace knowing for sure everything possible was done for him.

It was Tammy's Dad's funeral on Friday. Visiting Haltemprice Crematorium is always hard as it brings back memories of my own Dads funeral but to see someone you love and care about hurting for the same reason is just so hard to bear. My heart really did go out to her and she did so well. We gave him a good send off and then hit the pub to have a few drinkies. We left Tam about 7:30 well on her way to having a 'wobbly night!'

We'd had such an eventful week we were looking forward to having friends over on Saturday night. Tammy and Al came over and Caz and Andy travelled from Harrogate for the weekend.

True to form Caz and I had arranged to go for a walk and we managed to do a 10 miler although not as quick as we'd hoped as we were talking most (well ALL) of the way round. But we weren't fazed as we'd got the miles in and in the process had a really good natter, put the world to rights and decided that we were going out the next morning for another 10!

7:30, a glorious Sunday morning heading out for a 10 mile walk! I couldn't have imagined that 3 months ago but off we went and had a great walk - up until 7.5 miles when I needed the loo!! We spent the last mile diverting home, as quickly as possible!! lol. But we still managed 18.5 over 2 days and believe me I have a blister to prove it. Inner soles have since been duly trimmed so hopefully I won't get a repeat of today's golf ball blister on my heel.

Weigh in week 15 ................................................................................ I lost 2lb

FINALLY 2 STONE 7 LB

You won't be surprised to learn I'm finished the week on a complete high. I'm smiling, my legs ache and I have a nasty blister but I feel great!!!!

I'm looking forward to the charity night on Wednesday at Chambers and really hope I can help make it the fantastic night it deserves to be. Mum is polishing off her tiara - well lets face it she'll be like the queen! It's been that long since she has been out and everyone is so looking forward to seeing her. It is going to be very hard for her and also very emotional but I'm sure she will have a wonderful evening and as always we will be there by her side every step of the way.

Good night, god bless

Ellie

xxx

Week 15. friends will be friends

I think this is going to be a long blog not only for the fact that I missed last Sunday (Easter Sunday), but also so much has happened.

We had a fabulous Easter weekend with our good friends Mags and Rich and their 3 girls. They came over for an Easter Egg hunt, a hat making session, a sleepover and of course Sunday lunch.

Mags and I have been good friends since Junior school at the age of 8 - that is a scary thought! We progressed through school together and even got our first jobs in the same firm, Hider Food Imports Limited. Mags then went on to work in Managerial positions around the country before travelling the world with Rich and returning home to start their family. It was luck that our paths crossed again after about a 5 year gap when we were looking for someone to organise flowers for our wedding celebration. Mags proved herself to be a top class florist and did the occasion proud!

We've some wonderful times in the past and after finding each other again our families have become the best of friends and made many more treasured memories to hold onto. I'm sure we'll be around for each other for a long, long time to come. Thank you for your time, love, patience and help guys. xxx

After the Easter break we went away for our first caravaning trip of the season, to.........Thomas Land!! We took Benjamin last year and he absolutely adored it although he was just too small for a couple of the rides. In true Benjamin style he hadn't forgotten that he couldn't go on Cranky the Crane and Terence so they were top priority for him.

We met up with friends at the campsite - Steve, Helen and their lovely kids Beth and Farron. Unfortunately due to their commitments at home we only had the one evening and part of the next day with them but we had a fantastic time chatting and getting to know each other better.

Steve and I started singing on the circuit around the same time and although we knew each other to say hello too, it's only in the last 6 months or so we have got to know each other better. Steve and Helen have had their own problems and heartaches over that last past couple of years and yet the frank and open manner in which they have accepted and were able to discuss Helen's health situation had me feeling quite humbled and somewhat in awe!! They are a lovely family who look life in the eye and live for today. God knows they have to face up to more than most and I admire them for it. I'm pleased to say that they have just had some very good news from the hospital and I'm absolutely delighted for them, to the point where I was moved to tears when Steve rang me to let me know. I sincerely hope that we see them again very soon to celebrate and look forward to arranging our next camping trip together xxx.




Tammy is another friend of mine who I have only known for about 8 years yet it seems so much longer. Many people mistake us for sisters! When I was singing, Tammy was Manager of Springfield Club in Anlaby and again she was someone I only ever passed the time of day with and never really got into a conversation.

When I went out to work in Cyprus we kept in touch by letter and I was quite surprised when she asked if she could come out to see me for a couple of weeks on holiday. I looked forward to the company but was a little worried that we not previously spent any length of time together. I need not have worried at all because from the moment her plane landed to this present day we have got on like a house on fire. We've been pretty inseparable, have been the best of friends and I can honestly say that I don't think we've ever stopped talking!

She and Al celebrated their 1st year together last weekend and it's been wonderful to be able to share in their happiness and again we've have some wonderful memories to treasure. Both Tammy and Al were a godsend to me when Dad died and they helped me through some very low times. It's time to reciprocate now as I had the dreaded text from Tam in the early hours of Friday morning to let me know that her dad had died.

I will be as strong for Tammy as she was for me - the only advantage I have is I am 5 months on and have a clear knowledge of how she is feeling at this moment in time. There will be lots of tears and hopefully lots of smiles; lots of reminiscing and hopefully lots of laughter too. All my love and thoughts are with you Tam xxx

Weigh in for the last 2 weeks has seen me maintain. I'm not worried as I have had a wonderful Easter Break and a very enjoyable few days away in the caravan. I just hope I can get 2lb off this week to get to my 2 1/2 stone mark. Benjamin is back at school now so we can get out walking again. We've only managed to get out the odd time over the last couple of weeks with mum still recuperating from her op. She is slowly getting better and she's even managed to come down a couple of times which is wonderful. She is also hoping to come to the charity night next week.

Over the last week or so I have come to realise that life really is about living and enjoying it. I'm lucky - I'm breathing, I'm feeling healthy, I'm getting fit and I'm proud to be me. I also like to think I'm a nice person to be with. True friends are around not only for the good times but also for the bad times too! I've spent too long worrying about why some people don't talk to me or appear to dislike me, but I have convinced myself that it is their loss not mine. I have some wonderful friends old and new who I enjoy being with immensely. I have friends who I don't hear from for a while but I know they are there - the odd phone call or text tells me that! Thank you all for being there when I need you. xxx

Hopefully I should be back on track and posting my blog on a Sunday again from next week. I must apologise to Mum who has been chivying me to get it posted as she has been looking every day for her regular Sunday read!

Until the next blog, God bless

Ellie

xxx

Week 13. Surely our luck will turn

On Wednesday we had yet another sad day. Oscar, our 7 year old Great Dane passed away suddenly. He went missing for a while in the garden and Ray went out to find him and returned with a very sorry looking and distressed dog. His abdomen was distended to such an extent that we contacted the vet and took him to the surgery straight away. He had immediate surgery for a twisted stomach and they also had to remove his spleen which was badly damaged and give him a blood transfusion. When the vet rang us at 10pm that evening he was holding his own but at around 8:30 in the morning he sadly died.

They always say dogs are like family members. Well Oscar certainly was: not only for his size but for his personality. He was a wonderful dog with great character. Benjamin absolutely adored him and I remember when we first brought him home from the hospital weighing just over 4lb, Oscar's head was far bigger than our little premmy baby. We used to joke that Oscar would come in with 2 slices of bread in his mouth for a Benji sandwich! A bond was formed on that day! We've also had many infant visitors to our home who have laid with Oscar on his bed, using him as a sofa. Sleep tight old man xxx

We were due to go away on Thursday to Blackpool and decided that it would do us the world of good to get away for a couple of days. We enjoyed the break but lets just say our trip was 'interesting!'. We took our trainers though and managed a 6.5 mile walk to Blackpool prom and back before breakfast on Friday followed by an aqua aerobics class afterwards!!

Mum also came out of hospital on Friday although if I'm honest, I'm not sure she should have come out so soon. She still really isn't well so I've been staying with her at her house since I got home. We've had the Doctor out to her and her wound is infected so now she is on more antibiotics! Bless her she'll be rattling soon with the amount of tablets she's taking.

At weigh in this week I lost another 3lb!

I'm thrilled with it as I haven't been filling in a food diary since Wednesday - I have just been conscious of what I'm eating and doing. It's obviously worked and I can't ask any more than that really at this point.

It was also lovely when we went away as everyone had noticed my weight loss and commented on how well I looked. Its nice to start noticing it yourself but when other people do it really does give you a boost and makes you feel good about yourself and life. Lets face it I need something to make me smile at the moment!! Thank you all xxx

Love

Ellie

xxx

A busy and worrying week

As you know from last weeks blog my mum was taken into hospital on Saturday evening. On Monday she had a CT scan and they discovered she had a perforated gall bladder which had allowed a 2 x 3cm stone to become lodged in her small intestine. She was taken down for emergency surgery on Monday evening which resulted in a bowel resection to remove the blockage. She was finally released from the High Dependency Unit on Thursday and was settled onto a ward. Her condition improved rapidly thereafter and she even managed to walk the corridor on a couple of occasions. Last night however she started vomiting again and they have taken out the bottom 3 clips of the wound to see what was going on. She now has a bag attached to it as there is leakage/infection. The Doctors also think that the vomiting may be due to the fact that she isn't moving around enough yet for everything to 'work it's way down'.

The last time one of my parents went down to theatre he never came out so you can imagine our concern. We had a dreadfully worrying time. I've already lost my Dad and I'm certainly not ready to loose my Mum too!! It still amazes me how susceptible I am to falling apart. Memories of what we went through with Dad just flooded back and I was a wreck once again. I'm sorry if I spoilt your birthday on Monday Tam ... I really tried and thank you once again Ray for being by my side and helping me get through it.

On Wednesday evening I went to the local leisure centre with my cousin to do step and box. Basically its a full hour of intense cardio work. Thanks Elly you managed to make me laugh (1, 2, 3 duck!) and push my boundaries a little, I actually enjoyed it although I couldn't feel my thighs on Friday!!!!!

With Mum being in hospital I've had little time to do much walking this week but I have been using the stairs at the hospital. I didn't mind so much when she was on the 3rd floor but she is now on the 6th, it hurts!!

On Friday however, Benjamin had his own sponsored walk with school and we accompanied him. We were so proud of him. 3 years old and he walked 3.5 miles and walked most of them too! When we put him on Ray's shoulders he proclaimed 'Daddy, its windy up here!'. His sponsoring skills are coming into play too and he managed to raise £38.00 for the school. Well done Benji xxx

On Saturday we went to our friends 70th birthday, catching up with friends and dancing the night away. The highlight though was taking Benjamin to see his Grandma in hospital on the way there as he had his tuxedo on, bless him. It was a lovely surprise for her and he melted a few hearts on the way.

Sunday, weigh in...............................

Yippee, I've reached my 2 stone mark! I've lost 4lb which brings my total weight loss so far to 2 stone 2lbs. I didn't expect my 2stone until the end of April so I'm absolutely delighted. I am over 4 weeks ahead of my target, all I can say is thank you very much if you sponsored me per pound. I think you're going to owe me a lot of money!!!! Benjamin's walk was along a public footpath to the next village, so to celebrate my 2 stone loss, the 3 of us walked to the pub there for Sunday lunch (only we took the buggy for Benjamin this time!)

Until next Sunday

With love

Ellie

xxx

Mothers Day

Well another silly busy week this week chasing my tail and seemingly getting nowhere!

I'm also finding it extremely hard to blog this evening as my mum has been taken into hospital this weekend but I'll carry on and apologise now for my frame of mind but I really can't help it.

The week started off well with a trip over to Harrogate to have a walk with Caz. We did a VERY hilly 6.2 miles round the area which was really nice. We laughed and chatted most of the way round about our upcoming 40th birthdays. It amazed me how frightened Caz was of reaching her 40th and in complete contrast how blase I was about my own.

My cousin and Uncle came over from Ireland on Thursday for a few days and we arranged for it to be a surprise for Mum. I'd arranged for her and my Aunt to come down for lunch (which we do regularly so no surprise there!) but the look of complete shock on her face when Ray walked into the kitchen with tour guests was second to none! We certainly surprised her and it was nice to see her cry with happiness for a change.

When she arrived home that evening however she started vomiting and hasn't stopped since so she was taken into our local hospital late last night for investigative care. (I would hasten to add at this point that it was not my cooking!!)

My Uncle Ed stayed with Mum whilst he was here and bless him he ended up playing nursemaid to her, I do hope they managed to chat a little during his visit.

My cousin stayed over at our house and I managed to get her out for a walk on Friday. Another personal best was reached but this time not by me but by Catherine. We walked 5.2 miles which is her longest! Well done hunni I really enjoyed it.

We've also had visitors in and out and staying all weekend which has been lovely but again dampened by the fact that Mum has been ill. I love her so much and I'm worried for her. No matter how old I am I'm her little girl and I want her to be well. Having to wait until visiting time at the hospital to wish her Happy Mothers Day has been so frustrating.

Weigh in was also this morning and no great surprise to me I've stayed the same once again...... PLATEAU REACHED!! I have to think positive 'coz I've lost 26 lbs but today my heart is heavy, I'm worried and I'm low.

Hopefully we'll have a better week next week.

Get well soon Mum, I love you more than you'd know

Ellie

xxx

Good news all round!

The week started at Eden Hall Spa near Newark. If you haven't already been I would highly recommend it!

Ray and I had a fabulous day on Monday. Relaxing, detoxing and being pampered and it was a wonderful feeling after our half marathon the day before but nicer to spend timeout just the two of us chatting and having a good time.


The next couple of days were spent worrying about some tests that Ray had to have on Wednesday (the worry was still there on Monday only we forgot it for a few hours!)



When one of the most important people in your life is not well and starts to worry about their health, you naturally worry with them and this has been a dreadful strain for the last couple of months.



I am however thrilled to announce that he is fit and well and will live to fight another day (and hopefully a lot of years!!!!). I lost my Dad just over 3 months ago I'm certainly not ready to loose my husband as well. We returned home on Wednesday via the supermarket picking up a couple of bottles of our favorite wine, had a beautiful meal and celebrated in style.

With the events of the week, we've not walked as much as usual but this morning I went out for a quick 3 mile walk round the village and I smashed my personal best by walking a pace of 14 minute per miles, I am sooooo pleased I cannot begin to tell you.

Sunday............................ weigh in.............................



Last weeks weight loss was colossal and I was prepared for the plateau that happened this week.



I have maintained, but with the celebrating we did this week and the treat on Monday I half expected it an I really don't mind. The truth is I have lost 1 stone 12 pound in 10 weeks (that's 26lb!!) My 2 stone mark was due to happen at the end of April, it looks like that is going to be another goal I'm going to smash. I'm a happy bunny.



Tomorrow finds me going to Caz's neck of the woods!! I'm looking forward to my walk in Harrogate. Oh I wonder where she'll take me?!?!



God bless,



Ellie
xxx

Achy but elated!!

Training this week has been slightly different. Short sharp miles to help me get my fitness levels up in preparation for my half marathon. I've enjoyed changing it slightly and have been excited although a little apprehensive waiting for our half marathon.

Today was the day and ............ I'VE DONE IT!

Ray and I set of from home this morning at 9:48 am and arrived at mums house 13 miles away 3hours and 37 minutes later - what a buzz! My first ever half marathon and I'm overjoyed and emotional (but happily emotional for a change).

My sponsored slim has so far raised in excess of £1000 for The British Heart Foundation and this week has also seen me booking my charity night. I'm still in the early stages of organisation but hopefully over the next couple of weeks I should have posters and tickets printed. Please book the 29th April in your diary........ more details to follow.

My intention when I started my new eating habits was to lose between 1 and 2 pound a week with an overall weight loss of 4 stone before my 40th birthday at the end of August.

Here I am 9 weeks in - I have lost 19lb in weight, I've entered myself into a walking marathon and the race for life. I've also upped my exercise routine beyond anything I had imagined and what is really wonerful is that I'm enjoying my new healthy lifestyle.

When we've organised nights out I've been very careful to keep within my limits during the week in order to enjoy them and so far its worked for me. I've maintained on a couple of weeks but most weeks I've lost weight.

We were back at our favorite restaurant last night with our friends Jean and Mike and we had a wonderful night catching up and chatting. I'd been good all week so I was prepared to let my hair down and have our favourite dish of Bone in Rib Eye - as per usual it was beautiful.

Sometimes I wonder whether having weigh in on a Sunday is a good idea??!!??

This week it was........................... I lost a staggering 7lb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have tried extra hard this week because of my meal out last night and have changed my exercise routine. The results are plain to see although I realise that I could quite easily plateau next week but for today I'm crying with happiness.

I have reached a weight that I've not been at for a long long time. I'm fitting into clothes that have been laying dormant in my wardrobe for longer than I care to remember and my larger jeans I can now take off with out undoing them!

Ray and I are going to a Day Spa tomorrow. A Christmas present Mum and Dad got us 2 years ago that we've never yet done. A well deserved relaxation and pamper day is ahead of us and I can't wait!!

I'm leaving you very happy, very emotional and very achy this week.

Until next Sunday

God bless

Ellie

xxx

Week 8. Another marathon........plus a bit!

Mum and Dad first started courting after Mum nursed Grandma Redhead and she played cupid and got them together. They split up for a brief time and mum went back to Ireland to spend some time with her family. Dad followed her to a 'foreign land', found his way to Clones and knocked on the door to ask for her back only to be turned away!! But true love prevailed and they were finally married at 1:15pm on 24th February 1968 at St Charles Church which is the oldest Roman Catholic Church in the City of Hull. They honeymooned in the Lake District before returning to live with my Grandma Redhead in Brough.

They were lucky enough to celebrate their Ruby Wedding last year and spent the day with family. I remember Dad being so ill that day we nearly cancelled but he battled through and we ended up having a really lovely day as he got a little better as the day wore on.

Dad lived his life on a day to day basis for a long time and he often had to cancel visits due to his bad health or if he was well enough he would invite himself round!

This week we've cried many tears but we've cried, talked, and laughed together. On Tuesday the eight of us had a lovely meal at Mums (although I would say that as I cooked it!) and what better present could Dad have left her but the deeds to their house which arrived the very morning of their Anniversary. Every Anniversary will be hard for us and Mum in particular but hopefully not quite as hard as this the first!! xxx

The week started very emotional but I'm quickly learning to channel my energy into my sponsored slim so the rest of the week was spent walking and training. I've had an exceptional week this week and walked 33 miles (day 1 being last Sunday). Only 3 of those miles were done on the treadmill and I seem to have found a new love for the outdoors! I love being out in the fresh air and have quickly come to realise that by going outside, no matter how far out you walk you have to get back one way or the other. Rather than in the gym when you can turn the treadmill off!!!!

Ray also found a new website, walkrunjog.net so I've plotted both my Hessle and Sproatley walks if anyone would like to have a look. Its a fabulous site and works with Google maps so you can see all the public footpaths as well as main roads.

Caz came over yesterday for our first walk together for a gentle 6 mile walk. I decided to take her over the Humber Bridge on the route Ray and I had done last week so I gave her the website to show her where we would be walking - handy for her as she lives in Harrogate!! We ended up doing a 7.5 mile walk and we both felt brilliant for it, our longest walk yet!! I'm planning to go over to Harrogate in a couple of weeks and I can't wait for her to show me the ropes!

So ............................... I've 33 miles under my belt this week and 60 lengths of the pool. I was looking forward to seeing the results of my efforts in my weigh in.

...

...

...

2lb off!! Oh my lord that's 19lb in 8 weeks. I'm ecstatic, I'm loosing weight, certainly getting healthier (this week I ran the length of the garden with Benji, I've NEVER been able to do that!) and I'm enjoying it all to boot.

Next week Ray and I have got walks planned Monday, Wednesday and Friday then on Sunday we have a half marathon planned, YES 13MILES!! I look forward to telling you all about it.

Until then, stay safe and God Bless

Ellie
xxx

My first Marathon .................... in a week

It's been a busy week this week.

We had a dinner to go to on Tuesday. It was lovely to get dressed up and even nicer that people noticed me weight loss which made me feel good about myself. (I even managed to get some more sponsorship!)

Thursday we went out for a meal with some friends and although we had great fun chatting, catching up and laughing the meal itself was pretty grotty and it seemed that everything was steeped in garlic butter! So with that and rather a lot of alcohol it was a bad night calorie wise!!

On Friday we took Benjamin to Sundown Adventurland near Retford. Anyone reading this with children under the age of 8, I would highly recommend it. We had a fabulous day and Benji ran himself ragged.

Training has gone very will this week. On Monday and Wednesday I covered 5 miles at 3.7 mph. Tuesday and Thursday I did 3 miles at 4 mph and because I missed out on Fridays' session (athough I walked round Sundown for 5 hours!) I did 5 miles on Saturday at 3.8 mph. That was 21 miles in total.

Today Ray and I decided to drop Benjamin off at my Mums and go out for a walk across the Humber Bridge. We were out for about 1 hour 50 minutes and we did 6 miles.............. Have you worked it out yet????????? I certainly did, that means throughout the week I have actually walked my first ever marathon! I'm absolutely elated, all I have to do now is condense the week into one day!!! lol

Weigh in was also today...............................

I have maintained......................... I'm not really surprised after the week I've had and I'm sure the training would certainly have brought muscle mass inot contention so I'm happy with that.

I'm feeling better in my clothes and even wearing thinkgs that have been dormant in my wardrobe fro years and my body is certainly changing shape!!

Until next week

God bless

Ellie

xxx

Happy Valentines

This week really has been an up and down week.

Training has been hard as I've been so busy but between juggling family, business, personal and exercise I've managed it and clocked up 17 miles! I have also been out and bought a new pair of trainers for the job and I have a training programme for next week from Andy, so it looks like a week of early rising for me to get the hours in.

My Garmin forerunner arrived on Tuesday and I couldn't wait to get into the gym to try it out. I'm still waiting to use it outside and now that all the snow and ice has gone I'm hoping to be out in the fresh air next week.

My thoughts this week have been of my wonderful Mum, how on earth does she cope? My Auntie Margaret (not my real Aunt but my mums best friend) lost her mum whilst she was on holday so we had the funeral on Tuesday. Over we went to Wakefield, another funeral but we wouldn't have been anywhere else but supporting her. It was so difficult not only for me but for my mum. Her first funeral since Dads and she found it really tough.

Also yesterday, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year! I had a dreadfully emotional day, I couldn't even look at my Dads photo without crying. He always used to complain about Valentines Day being nothing but a money making scam yet he never forgot to get mum a card bless him. I did ask if Mum would like to come down on Saturday but she declined and instead said she would come for Sunday lunch. Benjamin always goes to Grandmas for a sleepover and he's missed her coming here so he was sooo excited. He always manages to make her smile.

We have many more milestones to get through and I hope I can continue being strong for her and help her through what must be an absolute nightmare!

I love you Mum xxx

So Sunday is here! Gosh I'm getting to like Sundays..........

I've lost another 3lb this week. Oh my God I'm stunned and delighted. We had a gorgeous 3 course meal last night for Valentines day along with a bottle of pink champagne and a bottle of wine between the two of us. It just goes to show if you plan ahead for what your having it pays off.

I've got a heavy weeks training ahead of me next week, I'm not sure if muscle mass will come into it.......... I look forward to finding out.

Take care

Ellie

xxx