week 17. the pot grows!

This week has been taken up getting organised for our charity night on Wednesday!

When we were out last week I was complaining that I didn't have any new songs to sing and Ray heard someone singing Dance with My Father (originally sang by Luther Vandross) and said very matter of factly and without any thought for the words 'that's the song for you Ellie!' It's a beautiful song but I wasn't sure what I was more worried about - being able to learn in time (6 days) a song I had never heard before or whether I would be able to get through it without loosing the plot, crying uncontrollably and making my mascara run!

I put it on repeat on my ipod and gave it a run through at the weekend with Ray, Mum, Tammy, Caz and Andy roaming around the house. Between us all I think we went through about 3 boxes of tissues and I hardly managed to get through the first verse without tears streaming down my face.

Never the less, I stuck with it and invited my friend Sooz came down to listen and help out on Monday evening and again we sobbed for the first couple of runs through. The more I sang it the more confident I was that I would get through it on Wednesday and I seemed to have nailed it (or killed it as Ray so eloquently puts it!) by the end of the evening. Whether that was anything to do with the two bottles of wine and half a bottle of honey rum that we consumed. I'm not sure! What I do know is that it was lovely to spend time with Sooz, laughing and crying without children running round our ankles.. It was just what we both needed. xx

Wednesday arrived and I really can't remember when I was last so nervous. I wanted everything to go well, I was desperate to sing my new song for my Dad (and get through it!) But I was so emotional. Every text I got wishing me luck and telling me how proud Dad would have been of me just made me sob. I HAD to get through the night so I concentrated on getting everything ready, including myself.

I opened the night with 'Dance with My Father' and I only hope I did it justice for my Dad. I can honestly say I cannot ever remember an audience being so quiet during one of my songs. I'm sorry if I upset anyone but I really do wish I could dance with my father again - now all I have is a song.

Although it was a very meaningful and sad song for me, that was certainly not the form for the evening. The mood was a happy one and we had a fantastic night and managed to make a further £680 for the British Heart Foundation. Thank you to all of the artists, sponsors and supporters that helped on the evening. I am planning to do another charity night at the beginning of September (after my final weigh in) and I sincerely hope we have just as much if not more support.

Ray and I managed to get out for a 8 1/2 mile walk on Friday after dropping Benjamin off at school and the three of us went out for a bike ride on Saturday which was lovely.

Weigh in Sunday morning ................................. 1lb GAIN!

I'm so fed up you can't imagine and I'm really quite disappointed in myself.

I had a busy week and I slacked off - that is the long and the short of it. I've had a persistent craving for sugar and sweet snacks and rather than addressing the problem I have given in and helped Benjamin get through some of his Easter eggs!

The Mail slimmers web site also closes this week and this has been playing on my mind. After this weeks weigh in it is apparent that I still need to be filling in food diaries to make me aware of what I'm doing. I have found another site 'Weight Loss Resources' that I'm getting my head around and it looks fantastic. Thanks go to the the Mail Slimmers site for giving me a cracking start and I look forward to picking up the pace again with my new site.

Since starting my healthy eating regime in January I've not gained at all and I certainly don't want to do it again if this is how it makes me feel!! Maybe this is the kick up the bum I needed to get me focused again............... WELL IT'S WORKED.

Here's to next weeks LOSS!

God bless

Ellie

xxx