Sunday, 18 January 2009

Is there a god

My Dad was the youngest of four brothers, Phillip and David (identical twins),Peter and then came Dad.

When Dad died last year it wasn't only a shock to us but to the whole family as he was the first in a generation to die. The first husband, the first Dad, the first Grandpa, the first Uncle and the first cousin...........Today this is not the case.

This morning we got the devasting news that not only my Auntie Val (Uncle David's wife), but also Auntie Irene (Uncle Phillips wife) died in the early hours of this morning. How wierd is that, identical twins wives' dying on the same night, they say there is a link between identicals but this is just unbelievable.

My wonderful husband went out to do the shopping this morning (with a bad back!) as we had visitors for Sunday lunch and gave me time on my own (he always seems to know when I need a little space and I love him for it).

Whilst he was gone I collapsed in a heap and cried like a baby!!!! Not only for my own sorrow as everything came rushing back from 8 weeks ago but for that of my relatives too. I can so feel what they are going through and my heart aches for them. For the sadness, for the pain, for the shock and for the suffering they are all feeling. If I could take that pain away from them I could.

Mum came for lunch today too and God only knows how she feels?! Of course we've talked and cried and laughed, as we do every day, but today is different. There is a cloud above us all that just seems so black and murky we can't seem to shift it. We couldn't have asked for better company today to help us all through it really. Thank you guys once again for lightening our load (or at least trying too). I'm sure because of you the cloud has shifted if only a little way.

I don't know what to say from here really as the whole day has just melted into a blur.

Sunday is weigh in day.

Until the news this morning I'd had a fabulous weekend and I'd prepared myself for 2 nights out. Whereas last night I was looking forward to jumping on the scales, after todays news I stepped on them instead .............................I've lost 3lb!

I've decided that now more than ever its the right time to be doing what I'm doing!

One of my Aunts died of a suspected heart attact. Why? We do not know, but by losing weight I will not only be healthier (is this diet a selfish act?, that's a question for another blog!!) but it will give the British Heart Foundation now over £750 for research ........If you would like to make that total greater then please visit my site and sponsor me.

My love and thoughts are with my family tonight. My advice to them is......... hold the memories, smile and laugh at them. It's helping me through!!


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